everything just seems to be going downhill, studies, relation with parents, mentally tired, but who to tell? who to share? whatever i say or do, they don't seems to change the situation, my hardwork, no one sees it, everyone are just looking at me with that stupid impression, no one believes that i put in effort for something. i'm working hard to change every wrong in my life, but no matter what i do, how much i've done, it just stays the same. i cried when i arguing with dad, not because he reprimanded me, its because i don't have his trust. he speaks with disbelief in me, i felt very hurt, but who knows about this? who understands? i'm lacking family warmth, no one knows, that thinking of mine, its coming again, maybe this time, i should really follow it, like what i said to myself before. let everything die, including me.