C A A S I

Sad, at myself.

Thanks Jarine for lending me your monster ear (:

Hello! ok, spend my day in an boring and simple way (: woke up in the afternoon, around 3pm or 4pm i guess? then off to 515 to meet friends at around 6pm+. Headed to Jason's house for mahjong, did not play though, just to accompany them (: played cards after that, then went 515 again with Mingyuan. The chat between us 2 was nice, its been long since we had this kind of chat. Went home and did nothing much, game + fb + msn, thats all. Alright, shall end my post here, bye peopleeeee!

Every night, before i go to sleep, i always ask myself,
why can't i just do something right? I am always hesitating,
making wrong decisions, and most of all, always an coward.
I got over kelyn, no doubt, but the phobia is still here.
No one understands how afraid i am, to touch love again.
To touch love again is something really difficult for me.
But like what i have once said, i wanna try, and will try,
but for now, i need time, and courage.
As for the things that someone told me, it really affected me,
alot i can say, although i have mental preparation, it still struck me
heavily, my mind, filled with negative thoughts again,
i know myself well,
i ain't a handsome person, in fact an ugly one,
i ain't a smart person, or rather a stupid one,
i ain't a caring person, rather a hurting one,
this is how i view myself, maybe i am worst in others eyes.
I stand no chance, this, i know very well.

A little message i tell myself everyday (:

Hi people! just got home, all i can say is, the 4E4 bbq was really fun, i am happy to see most of them turning up, a little bbq like this is seriously great, but apologies to those who have to fork out so much money for transport. Went over to Nicolas's house aftermath, had a little night out sessions with some of them, its nice (: overall i really enjoyed my friday with everyone, from the marinating of food, to bbq, then the night session, enjoyed it to its fullest. Gonna have a rest soon, going out in the noon, bye!

I am happy you turned up, although i did not have the courage to do what i intended to,
But still, i am very glad, just a few words with you, is enough, seriously, thats all i need.
I hope those teasing by them did not irritate you, if they did, really sorry.
When i see you, i really have the urge to confess, but i lack the courage, but i think, you have already know by now?
My feelings for you, my thinking towards you, its for real, i don't know how to prove them,
but from the bottom of my heart, i love you.
I never ever thought so much of someone, perhaps its because i am a virgo guy,
still to me, its because of love.

P.S : you look really great today (:

(Y) i like this hairstyle!

Happy Belated 19th Elaine!

Hi people! Shall start off this post with something cheerful! will be having class bbq today! and celebrated elaine's birthday on the 23rd! Saw lots of graduated woodgrovers over there, really nice to see everyone changed, to the positive side i mean. Seeing more woodgrovers later today! excited only! But on the bad sides, things ain't going well for me recently! ): went for medical checkup, results ain't good, family side, no better, and also friendship and relationship, nevermind, i believe everything will get better somehow. I have to make changes, i wanna lead a cheerful life instead of a sad one (: just ended game session, not really tired though, i think i might go and just think about stuffs. Nights people! See you guys at ECP later today!

Everything i do now, everything i say now, i think alot before i do them,
You will never know how much courage i need just to do a simple little thing,
this ain't your fault, its mine, i feel really weak and useless. I give up even before i try.
Sometimes i wonder, am i going to just use all these excuse to cover up for my cowardliness?
I hate being affect by these stuffs, but i always failed at stop thinking about it.
Someone told me, i have fallen too deep, perhaps, but i can't help it.
if i had a choice, i would wan a life without love,
without love i might get jealousy, but atleast, i won't any heartaches or sufferings.
But for now, i wanna try, for the last time, i swear its gonna be the last.

Sentosa w/ friends (:

Went sentosa with friends yesterday, super fun day! (Y) enjoyed the things we played at palawan beach and also the walk around sentosa, fun ttmax! just woke up, kindof blur now, idk what to blog too, haaaaa, but still yesterday was a really fun day (:

now i am thinking, have my actions disturbed you.
that night when we talk on phone, those text i send.
if i really had been disturbing you i am really sorry,
all i want is just to stay in contact with you.
i hope i am not the one disturbing you,
i really hope so

I wanna be the happy one;

hello everyone! had been blogging this few days! (Y) naise! happy with my life recently ! hahas, had been planning gathering with friends to go sentosa and also bbq at ecp! looking forward to all those ! (:

i am happy with the way we are now, don't have to progress further, cause i know its impossible.

Epson .

Past 4 days have been working under epson during the IT Fair, quite fun :D get to know some new people there (Y) Though its tired, but its still fun . well, it fair ended yesterday, after that, went dinner with kianwee and his mother, thank you for the treat, kianwee's mum! Reached woodlands went to find dickson for a few puffs, talk and chat abit, then went home, onlined for awhile, and then ended my day (: am still hoping for something now though, HAHA!

Thank you for those little questions, although you don't realize it, but im really happy yesterday night. I hope this can continue, even with no further progress, i am contented already (:

Good friend last a lifetime? jokee.

why is it always me, who is the one trying to salvage friendship when it turns sore? i admit i can be annoying and irritating at times, but if you guys would just voice out to me, instead of giving me attitudes and those sarcastic words, i feel better, way much better. i know i am not a good friend, i cant share wealth, trouble with you guys, i am sorry. if you think, i am not worthy of your friendship, i will kindly leave you alone, i wont be a pest, bugging you. i am sorry if i have offended any friends in the past, maybe you guys should consider whether to treat me as a friend or not, cause i am certain, i am not a good friend to have.

Held.

had been rather carefree lately, sleeping and waking up at whatever time i want. But gonna head to recruit Express for a part-time job later today (: Had a rather small problem running through my head for the past week, that is, the feeling i am having for you, what is it exactly? love? or friendship? I hope i get it sort out soon. But i hope it would be love.

for once, i wanna give it my everything, to reach for that impossible romance i desire.

Isaac Neo
11 Sept 1991
24
Ex-wrps student
Ex-wgs student
Ex NgeeAnnPoly, MTE
NTU, ME

Facebook

Ugly,
Nerdy,
Weak,
Stupid,
Thats me,i shall live with it.

I dislike the way i am behaving, but i can't help it,
I wish to numb my feelings, but i can't
I wanna be a somebody one day, hoping for it.

-~~O'Levels L1R4 15~~14 (;
-~~forget about iqeelnylek~~
-more friends !
-her(;
-a better life
-~~1first electric guitar~~

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